


Be your own hero

by chasing_the_wild_dream



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Post 2x08, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8810569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasing_the_wild_dream/pseuds/chasing_the_wild_dream
Summary: set after S2Ep08; Cadmus is still a threat, even without Lillian Luthor. Lena tries to predict their next move while Kara/Supergirl tries to save her friendship with a disappointed and hurting Lena. Only when things threaten to go seriously wrong will they realise what and who really matters. Slow burn SuperCorp.





	1. 1 - A hero's solitude

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> A few things before we start:
> 
> \- I've been writing fanfiction for a while now, but I'm new to AO3 and still trying to figure everything out, so bare with me.
> 
> \- I'm new to the Supergirl fandom as well.
> 
> \- English is not my mother tongue, but I'll try my very best to make my stories a decent read.  
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> \- Feedback is greatly appreciated, of course. I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions.
> 
> \- Thanks to everyone, who decides to read along, in advance. It means a lot!

"Be your own hero."

Supergirl's words were echoing in her head as Lena Luthor stood on the balcony of her office at the L-Corp tower, her arms wrapped around herself to keep what little warmth was left in her body.

Tears were glistening in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

A hero.  
Yes, she had done something that could be considered heroic today.

She had saved the alien population of National City from getting killed by Cadmus, from getting killed by her mother, who was the devil incarnate after all.

How had she not seen it earlier? How had she not made the connection?

Was her mother the reason Lex had turned into this monster, into this alien murdering psychopath?

She had so many questions and Lena was aware that she would most likely never get answers.

Her mother would never talk to her again, that much was certain.

If she hadn't hated her before, she surely would now.

She had tricked her mother to do the right thing, to "be a hero", but what for?

She had lost the last remaining member of her family. No matter how horrible her relationship with her mother was, always had been – Lillian had been everything she had left.

And now she was alone.

Kara, her one and only friend in all of National City, had basically used their friendship to get information about her mother.

While Lena understood that Kara had done it for the greater good it still hurt that Kara hadn't trusted her enough to tell her what was going on. No, she had let her walk into all of this unprepared, leaving the ugly part for Supergirl to deal with.

Supergirl.

The true hero of National City. The loved and respected hero.

Supergirl, who had told her that she was nothing like her mother, that she was too good and too smart to do wrong, had lost her faith in her the first chance she had gotten.

Supergirl had fully expeced all aliens would die when she had turned that key, when she had launched that rocket, her words that Lena was good, that she could be a hero, long forgotten.

She had saved everyone and yet no one had bothered to say thanks or at least to check if she was alright.

But of course not.

She was a Luthor after all.

And neither aliens, nor humans would let her forget that. Ever.

When Supergirl had turned to her alien friend in wonder, not even bothering to look at her for a moment, she had realised that she had no one.

She might be a bit of a hero now, but she was alone.

She was on her own as she had always been.

Lena had thought that being good, doing the right thing, would make people see that she was more than just her name.

She had hoped that ultimately it would get her friends, maybe even love, but at least a chance.

That it would end her misery and lonliness.

Now that she was standing on her balcony, more alone than ever, she had to face the truth though.

She was a Luthor.

And that only meant one thing – a life of neverending solitude.  


\-------

  
Supergirl was standing at the massive windows of the DEO, lost in thought.

Her conversation with Mon-El had left her confused to say the least.

"Are you okay?" Alex appeared next to her, looking slightly worried.

She didn't know what to tell her sister, because she wasn't even sure there was something to tell to begin with.

Mon-El had kissed her, but he didn't remember. No big deal. She didn't even know if she wanted him to remember. She didn't even want to think about it right now.

"I'm just glad that everyone is okay. Things could have easily ended badly for a lot of us today", Kara said absentmindely.

Alex put her arm around her shoulder, squeezing it encouragingly, "I know. Thank God you were able to chase that missile...how did you manage to..."

"I didn't", Kara admitted, "It was Lena. She made the virus inert by switching the isotope."

"Lena Luthor?!" Alex wasn't sure she had heard right, but Kara nodded in confirmation, "The one and only."

Lena.

She had saved them all.

When she had watched her turn the key she had thought she had been wrong about her friend when she had been so sure that Lena would do the right thing all this time.

She should have known better, especially after the speech she had given Lena earlier that day.

How had she went from believing in her to doubting her so quickly?

She had said it herself. She was a pretty good judge of character and she knew, she simply knew, that Lena was not like the rest of her family.

She was a Luthor and at the same time she was anything, but.

Lena had saved them, she had chosen to do the right and honorable thing, losing the last bit of family she had left in the process and Kara didn't know why she hadn't even thought about checking on her friend until now.

When she had turned away from J'onn to watch Lillian Luthor, handcuffed and arrested, being driven away in a police car, she had realised that Lena was gone.

Why she hadn't went straight after her she didn't know, but it dawned on her that she should have.

It would have been the right thing to do.

"I gotta go", Kara said and took off before Alex could have so much as objected.

\-------

Lena was sitting at her desk, taking notes in an unnamed folder.

She was smart enough to collect her thoughts the old fashioned way as computers had a tendency to get hacked and she didn't want anyone to find out what she was up to.

She needed to get her hands on her mother's files and research, on everything she had done for Cadmus.

While the organisation had suffered a huge loss by the arrest of her mother, Lena was sure that the days of Cadmus were far from over.

Knowing her mother there was a Plan B, probably even a Plan C, so she really needed to find out what they were up to – to predict their next move.

She might be a Luthor, but she would not follow their dark and murderous path. She had worked too hard to become her own person and to turn things around for L-Corp.

And who was to say that they wouldn't blame her for any future activity of Cadmus?

People would rather think she had sent her mother to jail to run Cadmus herself than that she did it to save them.

It came with the name that ulitmately was a curse.

As she had asked Supergirl earlier – how long until she would go after her?  
If she wouldn't be able to stop Cadmus it wouldn't be long.

She would be her own hero after all. She needed to be. Because there was no one else who would save her.

A knock on the window front behind her made Lena jump in her seat a few minutes later and she closed the folder quickly, knowing that the only person capable of being on her balcony was Supergirl.

She got up and let her in, albeit not sure why, because truth be told, she wanted to be alone and Supergirl was about the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Supergirl."

Lena's voice was cold and distant and Kara knew right away that things were even worse than she had thought.

Maybe she should have shown up as Kara, not Supergirl. She had thought about it, but had decided against it, because Kara hadn't been there, at least not officially, to witness the events of the night, but Supergirl had been.

Seems like she had misjugded the situation, but it was too late. She had to deal with it now.

"You disappeared earlier...before I had a chance to talk to you, to thank you", Supergirl said, trying to remember the little speech she had come up with on her flight over to L-Corp, but Lena gestured for her to stop talking, "Supergirl...please save us both the embarrassment and stop pretending that you care. I'm a Luthor, so I'll always be the enemy. I see that now. Stop telling me how good a person you think I am as your faith in me lasted all of two seconds", Lena's face was void of any emotion, but the pain in her eyes gave her away.

Supergirl knew better than to comment on it though. She knew Lena was hurting, how could she not?

She should have handled this whole situation differently.

"You may go now. It's late", Lena stated dryly and looked at the window.

"I'm sorry", Supergirl tried again, but Lena didn't want to hear any of it, "Good night, Supergirl."

She sighed and took of, vowing to herself that she would make sure that the residents of National City would hear the truth. That they would see Lena Luthor for the hero she was.

Supergirl had let her down tonight, but Kara Danvers would make it right tomorrow.


	2. A Luthor, a hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the nice welcome and hello to everyone, who decided to buckle up for this journey!
> 
> No big speeches today as my dogs demand my attention.  
> Enjoy the next chapter and feel free to comment - it's greatly appreciated!
> 
> Have a nice Sunday, everyone! xo

**NATIONAL CITY'S NEW HERO**

**Lena Luthor the one to stop Cadmus' attempt to kill the alien population of National City**

by Kara Danvers, National City

_Supergirl herself revealed the surprising, and then again, not so surprising news that Lena Luthor had been the one to stop Cadmus leader Lillian Luthor from killing thousands of aliens._

_What we learned so far is that Lena Luthor has switched out the isotope before the rocket was launched, making the deadly virus inert._

_Supergirl also confirmed that it had been Lena Luthor, who had informed the police of their whereabouts and her mother's intentions._

_Lillian Luthor was arrested and will be facing several charges including murder and attempted murder._

_Lena Luthor has not been, in any way, involved in her mother's crimes or Cadmus._

_She has, in fact, saved thousands of lives with her courage and bravery and has shown this city that she is true to her word of turning L-Corp into a force for good._

_More than that she has proven that she does not have to be feared, but embraced as a valuable citizen of National City._

_Lena Luthor is not a threat, she is a friend._

_She is National City's new hero._

\---------

Lena sat behind her desk, staring at the picture of her own face, which accompanied the short article, in disbelief.

She's read the lines least five times and now she was just staring at the front page of the Daily Planet.

She wasn't sure how Kara had managed to accomplish that, but she suspected that this Clark Kent had something to do with it.

It meant a lot to her that Kara was trying to put things into perspective for people, with Supergirl's help no less, but it didn't change the fact that they had let her down in the first place.

Both of them.

But Kara at least tried to make amends and her article had warmed Lena's heart.

Her friend would make a hell of a reporter one day, the instincts were there, but the article surely wasn't Kara's finest work yet. Clearly she had written it in a rush to make the deadline, but Lena wouldn't have it any other way.

It might not be perfect, but it was so Kara.

Head a little in the clouds, trying to find words that sounded appropriate when she had really wanted to write or say something different.

That's why she liked Kara so much.

She was a breath of fresh air in her stiff, stoic and rules filled life where everything was all about money and appearances, about power and success.

It was all she knew, all she had ever known.

Until Kara Danvers had waltzed into her life like a summer breeze, rambling, babbling, blushing and sometimes awkward, but decent and kind. Willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, willing to give her a chance to prove herself when everyone else had judged her before even meeting her and Lena was immensely grateful for that.

Kara Danvers was the first friend she had made in years. If she was honest Kara was the first real friend she had made at all.

She wasn't the easiest character, Lena was aware of that.

Damaged by her childhood and cursed with the Luthors name she would never be the most popular person in town.

She was good at being indifferent, at hiding her emotions, but Kara made it so easy for her to laugh.

To smile and to open up, to reach out without fearing to be rejected.

There was something about Kara that made her feel welcome and safe and she didn't want to lose that.

\---------

Kara was standing in front of the L-Corp building, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

After Lena had brushed of Supergirl last night she wasn't sure if she would be welcome, but she really needed to see her.

She needed to make things right and she knew one article in the newspaper would fix nothing, but she hoped it would be a start.

Lena had saved them in an act of utter selflessness, sending her own mother to jail in the process and she deserved a 'Thank you' from National City's residents for that.

She deserved more than that.

She deserved better.

Lena also deserved the truth, especially from her, but giving away the secret that she was Supergirl was out of the question, at least at the moment.

It wasn't that she didn't trust Lena, because she did, but it wouldn't be safe – for either of them.

Everyone who know her secret was a potential target, was in imment danger. If anyone wanted to find out her true identity for harm's purpose, they would try to squeeze the truth out of whom?

Supergirls' friends.

So the less people knew, the better.

Besides Lena had been through enough in the short time since she had arrived in National City and had taken over Luther Corp, including several assassination attempts orchestrated by her brother Lex.

No, Lena deserved a break and Kara was determined to make sure that she would get it.

That thought in mind she entered the building, hoping that Lena was willing to see her.

\---------

Meanwhile a furious and fuming Lillian Luthor paced her cell, silently berating herself for her own stupidity.

Why had she thought Lena would help her when it was clear that they didn't see eye to eye?

She should have known better than that. She should have known that Lena couldn't be trusted after she had started to turn her beloved Lex' legacy into a force for good.

She sneered at the mere thought, disgusted by her sentimental daughter. If she had known that Lena would turn out to be the disappointment she was she would have never adopted her.

But it was too late, because now Lena had everything: the family name, the money, the power, the corporation and her freedom.

Lillian felt unspeakable rage burning in her chest when she realised that she had failed in her attempt to break Lena. To break her enough to do her biding. She had been so sure, since Lena had craved for her attention and love all her life, that she would do it. That she would help her to make her proud.  
The possibility that Lena would trick her had never crossed her mind, because truth be told, Lillian Luthor hadn't thought her daughter had the guts to disobey her.

Clearly she had underestimated her – in the wrong moment no less.

She might have been taken out of the game, but Cadmus was still out there. They wouldn't rest until the last alien would be destroyed, she had taken care of that.

And Lena...Lena would pay.

That Lillian Luthor was sure of, because arrested or not, she still had a phone call. It was her right and she would use it wisely.

\---------

Lena's assistant had told her to just go through, so she crept forwards slowly. Kara really wished she had Supergirl's confidence right then, but her alter ego had to stay out of this. It was better that way, safer.

"Kara!" A smile appeared on Lena's face. A smile that disappeared only seconds later, replaced by a somewhat sober expression, but it had been there and that was something.

She caught sight of the newspaper on Lena's desk, glad to see that she had read it and apparently not burned it. At least not yet.

Her own smile was awkward, as was the little wave of her hand, "Hi."

Could she sound any more stupid? God, she felt so out of her element, so off balance and she didn't even know why.

Well, that wasn't true, now was it?

She was used to Lena being all smiles when she saw her, a happy sparkle in those stunning and intensely green eyes, but today things were different.

Lena's walls were up a mile high, her posture was tense and her eyes spoke volumes about never voiced and silently endured pain.

"I...uhm...I came to see how...how you were doing?" Kara managed to get out at last, a slight blush tinging her cheeks a light shade of pink while she stood in front of Lena's desk like a schoolgirl. And a lost one at that.

"I'm fine", Lena countered, sounding colder than she had anticipated, causing Kara to look down at her feet, "Okay. I just...if you weren't..." she stammered while she tried to find the right words.

Why was it that she was even more awkward when in the presence of Lena Luthor? Kara Danvers was a bit of a nerd, yes. A rambling mess at times even, but whenever Lena was around it was ten times worse, wasn't it?

She cleared her throat in embarrassment, "What I meant...to say", she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, but decided to ignore it, "What I meant to say is...if you wouldn't be...okay...no one would blame you. It must have been hard...to turn your back on your mother...to send her to jail...no matter what she did...or tried to do...she is still...well, your mother."

"She never was a mother. Not to me", Lena hissed and cursed herself for giving so much away with only a few words. What happened to being careful about how much she revealed about herself? But then again, this was Kara. And no matter how disappointed or mad she was with her, she was still her friend, wasn't she?

"Lena...if...if you want to talk...", Kara met her gaze then, green eyes watching her curiously, "I'll listen. You are my friend and I want to...help you...be there for you..."

When Lena didn't say anything Kara continued, "I really didn't want to sniff around...not like that. I wish I wouldn't have had to...more than anything I wish your mother wouldn't have...that you wouldn't have had to make the choices you had to make. I'm so sorry, Lena...I wanted to tell you...but I didn't know how...you are working so hard to turn things around for L-Corp, for yourself...and I...I'm sorry. I should have told you as soon as I found out what was going on...I shouldn't have left it to Supergirl to dump all of this on you...it should have been me...your friend."

"It should have been", Lena agreed, playing with her pen, "But I guess I do understand why you didn't say anything. Considering my family's history...it shouldn't have surprised me...but it's not easy to find out that not only your brother is a mass murdering psychopath, but your mother is too...even after everything she put me through...I still didn't want to believe it...I really should have known better..."

"There's nothing wrong with seeing or believing in the good in people, Lena", Kara insisted, "I don't know what you've been through...and you don't have to tell me...but look at you...you are so smart...and a capable business woman...you're also kind and well, amazing really."

She blushed even more if that was possible at this point, "You grew up in difficult circumstances...I get that...but you turned out to be good. You are a good person, Lena...you aren't like them...and that makes you amazing."

"T-thank you, Kara...I..." Lena was too overwhelmed to say anything else. Kara's words had hit too close to home and she struggled to hold back the tears.

Kara nodded towards the door, sensing that it was all too much for Lena. Too much, too soon, "I should...go."

"Thanks for...stopping by...and for", Lena pointed at the newspaper, "For...for what you wrote...it means a lot."

"It was the least I could do", Kara smiled, "You deserve to be given a chance by the people of National City, Lena...and not only because you are indeed...a hero...but because you are you."

That said Kara headed for the door, but stopped before she would have disappeared out of sight, "If you need anything...please, call me. Or just come by...anytime, Lena. I mean it."

\---------

Supergirl landed at the DEO after rescuing a mother and son from a burning car after an accident a couple of hours later. She was about to say something to J'onn and Alex about needing some sparing sessions when all screens turned black and the face of Cadmus appared.

The message was sort, but not less concerning.

"We are Cadmus. You might have won the battle, but the war is far from over."


	3. Every hero has a weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hello everyone,_
> 
>  
> 
> _I just wanted to point out again that this is a slow burn story - in case someone hasn't figured it out yet._  
>  _Healing takes time and sometimes things have to get a lot worse before they can get better, but they_ _will...eventually. It just takes time._  
>  _So, please, bare with me and our lovely ladies - they will find their way eventually, but it might take a while._
> 
> _Thanks for all the kudos! :)_
> 
> _Have a nice start of the week!_

J'onn was talking to one of his agents while Alex eyed Supergirl, who seemed utterly defeated.

"We'll figure something out. Cadmus won't win", she tried to cheer Supergirl up, but the hero's thoughts seemed to be miles away once again.

"Kara, what's going on?" Alex asked with growing worry as she witnessed her sister's face falling even more, "No matter what it is...you can tell me...and we'll figure something out."

She looked at Alex then, still as conflicted as she had been the day before, but ultimately Kara decided she needed to talk to someone as the current situation was weighing heavy on her heart, "It's...Lena."

"Luthor?" Alex eyes went wide immediately, "What did she do?"

Kara shook her head, "Nothing. She didn't do anything...she's one of the good ones, remember?"

"I read your article."

"She hasn't done anything. At least she has done nothing wrong...I let her down...as Kara...and as Supergirl", Kara dropped her head, "And now she's...all alone. She sent her own mother to jail...Alex, she has no one left!"

Alex sighed at the distraught sight of her sister, "I get that you're upset...and I guess I even understand why you feel guilty, but you had no choice, Kara...it was for the greater..."

"I know!" Kara snapped, but calmed down before she continued talking. Alex was not at fault, she didn't deserve her anger, "I know. But she's my friend, Alex. She is my friend and she trusted me. I've babbled out to so many people that I'm Supergirl...'cause we both know I'm not very...well...subtle. But let's face it...if someone would have deserved to know the truth...it's Lena."

Alex expression turned from surprised to horrified within a second, "You can't be serious, Kara. I know you care about Lena, but you can't be considering revealing your secret to a Luthor. After everything this family..."

"I won't tell her", Kara stated firmly, "Because Lillian already knows too much...I was foolish enough to tell her that Lena and I are friends...and we all know that that woman wants me as far away from her daughter as possible...God knows to what lengths that woman, in jail or not, would go...to find out my true identity...everyone, who knows who I am...is in a constant state of danger...I don't want that for Lena."

Alex raised her hand, "Whoa. Now hold on...you are not telling her to protect her?!"

Kara looked at her sister in confusion, "Of course. Why else would I keep this secret from my friend?"

She moved her hand through her hair in an attempt to calm her nerves and to find a proper reply to Supergirl's question, but Alex came up empty, "Well...how about keeping it a secret to protect yourself?"

Even Alex knew that the question was lame and after everything that had happened at the docks she probably should give Lena Luthor the benefit of the doubt. Maybe.

That didn't mean she had to stop being wary, right?

"Lena wouldn't hurt me."

The statement was so simple, but Kara sounded so confident all of a sudden, so sure. As if it would be the most logical thing. As if the Luthor history did not exist.

Alex put her hand on Kara's arm then. Clearly this was a conversation between sisters, not one between Agent Danvers and Supergirl although they were at the DEO and Cadmus was still a threat.

"I hate to be so negative, Kara...but Lex wanted to kill her. Lillian might plan something as well...Lena won't be safe either way...but if you really want to fix your friendship...well then...maybe you should tell her."

Kara nodded, "I should...shouldn't I?"

"Yeah", Alex agreed, "For the record...I'm not sure if it's wise to tell a Luthor your secret..."

When Kara wanted to interrupt, Alex gestured for her to be quiet, "But I understand that she is your friend and that you care about her...I also understand that she's a lot more fragile than she lets on...and yes, I agree...if she were to find out otherwise it probably would only make things worse for the two of you. So yeah...you should tell her...I don't have to like it...but then again you are my sister and I'll always look out for you...and you can't blame me for that."

Kara smiled then, a warm and honest smile, "I know...and I wouldn't. Thank you, Alex...really. And don't worry about Lena...she's not like them. Not at all."

Alex prayed that Kara was right and that the last Luthor wouldn't come to be their undoing.

Before she could have said anything else though Supergirl took off because there was a fire somewhere in National City.

\--------------

Lena was sitting on the couch in her massive loft. In her cold and lonely loft.

The glass of wine she had poured for herself earlier was still sitting on the table, untouched. A tumblr of whiskey had found its way into her hand instead.

But she really needed something stronger, something that could warm her up a little as she was feeling chilled to the bone.

She had managed to keep calm and collected for two days, but once she had heard of the new threat from Cadmus it had all come back to haunt her.

After the poor childhood she had suffered under Lillian's "reign" she was the last one standing.

The last Luthor.

She had more money than she could ever spend, she was the CEO of an incredibly successful corporation that would make even more money and gave her quite a bit of power in National City, but it didn't make people respect her. Or trust her.

No, the majority of people still feared and distrusted her although she was trying so hard to prove that she was not like her brother.

And when things had finally looked upwards for the first time her mother had to go and try to rot out the alien population once and for all.

Now she had to fight her way out not only of Lex' shadow, but also Lillian's.

How she would ever accomplish that she didn't know.

Kara's article had done only so much.

What had followed had been countless interview requests from news papers and tv stations and one of the first questions had been if she had played her mother to protect the alien population or if she had done it to get rid of Lillian to take her spot and lull people into a false sense of security until she found a way to finish her family's work and vendetta.

Having questions like that directed at her had hurt. It had hurt more than she cared to admit and she had caught herself thinking that it wouldn't really surprise anyone if she would take a turn and walk down the dark and destructive path in the end.

Everyone expected her to anyway.

But she wouldn't. She couldn't.

Her whole life had been a lie.

Lillian's big speeches about family values, about hard work and success, about being a patriot and serving this country – nothing, but lies.

Her mother had used it all as excuses to justify her murderous plan.

Everything she had been taught, everything she had believed in was shattered, was lying at her feet in a sea of shards.

Lillian's way of raising her, of "educating" and drilling her, she had endured it all. And for what? For Lex.

Because he had been there for her, he had been a brother to her. He had loved her until he had snapped.

And now he wanted to see her dead and her mother probably did too.

Whom could she trust? Whom could she turn to?

She was so sick of the deathgrip the constant feeling of lonliness had on her, but she knew better than to try and shake it off.

Because she was alone after all.

Well, that wasn't true, was it?

She had Kara.

Kara, whom she couldn't really trust right now, no matter how much she wanted to.

She had been so tempted to call her earlier, to call her and ask her to come over and make that feeling go away. And she knew that her journalist friend would have probably dropped everything to do just that, but what would have been the point?

Kara would have done it out of guilt, out of obligation even and not because she wanted to.

And she wanted that, needed that.

She needed to know that Kara would be there because she chose to be. That this was honest. That it was real.

In the end Lena took a sip of liquid courage and did the next best thing. She sent Kara a text message that she needed to talk to Supergirl.

Even though she wasn't the hero's biggest fan at the moment, it was better than nothing.

Especially since the Girl of Steel's words were still echoing in her mind and she really needed someone who could understand her right now.

_"I know what it's like to be disillusioned by your parents."_

\--------------

She had been so excited when she had received a text from Lena, but it hadn't lasted long.

Once Kara had read it, realizing that Lena was asking for Supergirl instead of her, her stomach had dropped, but she had taken off anyway, willing to do whatever it took to make this right.

She had flown over to the L-Corp tower, only to see Lena's office dark and empty, so she had sped on over to Lena's loft, where she found the balcony door open.

She took a deep breath, gathering her confidence, steeling herself for what would await her inside and yet her heart ached once she caught sight of Lena sitting on the couch, completely lost and broken.

"Is this a bad time?" Supergirl decided to ask, because the last thing she wanted to do was to put even more pressure on Lena, when the usually so strong and collected woman was in a state of such sadness and despair already.

"Supergirl."

It was a simply statement, void of any emotion. Lena didn't turn around either.

"Kara said you wanted to talk to me", she stated, justifying her presence. Yes, she had to tell Lena that Kara and Supergirl were one and the same person, two sides of a coin, whole only together, but that was a conversation for another day. And a conversation Kara had to have with Lena.

Today she was Supergirl. Today she would be what and who Lena needed her to be.

When the CEO didn't react at all Supergirl cleared her throat, "I can go and come back another time?"

"Take a seat."

She really preferred to stand, but did as she was told and sat down at the far end of the couch, "What can I do for you, Miss Luthor?"

Lena eyed her silently for a few moments, her gaze intense, before she finally spoke, "What did you mean...when you said that you know...what it's like...to be disillusioned by one's parents?"

Supergirl closed her eyes, wishing that she wouldn't have to have this conversation. She'd rather forget about everything she had learned about the Medusa virus, but she got it now.

She got why Lena had requested her presence.

Lena needed someone who understood her pain, needed the companionship of someone who had experienced that heartbreak and disappointment. Lena needed an ally to fight that kind of demons and the more she thought about it, the more Supergirl realised that they might be able to help one another after all.

"My father...he...he created the Medusa virus...to save Kryptonians...initially", Supergirl confessed at last and Lena took in a sharp breath, "And my mother changed it...to kill you."

"All my life they told me I was destined to do good...they sent me away when Krypton died...to protect Kal-el and this earth...to be a hero...and yet", she didn't want to continue, she really didn't, but she had to say it out loud, "And yet they would have killed everyone...to protect our species."

Lena took a sip of whiskey and chuckled bitterly, "Aren't families just wonderful?"

"They are one's weakness", Supergirl countered, "If they treat you right you'd do everything to do right by them...if they treat you wrong they ruin you...either way it makes you such an easy target."

"Well, mine treated me wrong and I still tried...all my life...to get their approval...hers. To meet her standards..." Lena whispered and emptied her tumblr in one go.

Supergirl looked at the CEO and shrugged, "My parents always did right by me...and yet...learning about the Medusa virus...it ruined me. It tainted all my memories of them...I'm so...disappointed."

Lena nodded, "God knows even I'm disappointed...beyond disappointed...although knowing my mother...I really should have known better."

They both sat in silence for a while, both lost in thought, caught up in memories of the past.

Until Lena Luthor's distant eyes met Supergirl's, her voice bitter, "You're right though, you know...but it's not exactly the family that is the weakness. It's the heart...we hope against hope, we love against reason...that's what kills us in the end."


	4. Something to think about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still just drowning the lines of this story...but the plot will thicken eventually, starting with the end of next chapter. So stay tuned and show some love for our awesome heroines :)

Lena had kept thinking about her conversation with Supergirl a lot longer that night.

It was true what she had told the Girl of Steel.

All her childhood she had looked up to Lillian, to her mother, no matter how horrible she had treated her. She had loved her anyway, like the desperate child she had been.

Desperate for affection, approval and love and her mother had used it to punish her, break her and form her into the perfect puppet.

And yet she had loved her and loved her still. Against all reason, fully aware that Lillian Luthor couldn't care less about her and probably, not to say most likely, wanted her dead.

She had tried her best, been her best all those years in hopes that one day she would meet Lillian's expectations, but to no avail.

And every time she had failed, every time she had caught the disappointment, the disgust in her mother's eyes, it had cut through her like a knife.

No matter what she had done, at the end of the day it had never been good enough.

She had not been good enough.

It was what had made her realise that Lillian would never love her.

Looking back now had made Lena see that no one did, that no one ever had.

Not even Lex. Not really.

A feeling of dread and hopelessness had started to spread in her chest at the realisation, because it made her think that she was unlovable altogether.

When the Luthors had adopted her she had thought that she had found a family, but the truth was she had found lonliness, emptiness instead.

She had held on to the affection shown towards her by Lex, but what was it worth now that he wanted her dead? Had it ever meant anything or had it been one of his little, manipulative schemes taught by his mother? Had he ever really cared about her or had it all been an illusion, probably even created by her own, hurting mind?

Those questions had kept her up for the better part of the night and when she had finally dozed off Lena had suffered from nightmares she didn't want to ever recall.

How she had managed to get up in the morning she had no idea, because she had felt lifeless and miserable, and yet she had gotten out of bed and now she was sitting in her office chair, studying a file for her 2 pm meeting.

She had shown up impeccably dressed, make up flawless, her posture poised and as calm and collected as ever.

Her every step confident and strong as she entered the L-Corp building, her mask in place, showing to the world outside that she was fine although she wanted to fall apart.

But there was no such thing as a bad day where she could hide away in her bed, she had been raised by the Luthors after all.

And Luthors didn't fall apart, they didn't show weakness.

They functioned, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much it killed them inside.

\-------------

Kara was sitting at her desk, trying to concentrate on the research she had to do for an article she was supposed to write, knowing full well that she couldn't blow it or Snapper would probably demand her head on a plate, but she couldn't focus.

Her mind was a jumble, especially after she had bumped into Mon-El in the elevator in the morning. The whole situation had been nothing, but incredibly awkward and she didn't know what to make of it.

He had kissed her and he didn't remember. Or at least that was what he had said, but she wasn't sure that he had told her the truth or why did he behave so weird around her lately?

Kara knew she was as much to blame, for the awkwardness at least, because she was so overwhelmed.

By everything.

The truth about her parents. Lena. Mon-El. Lena.  
Lena saving everyone. Lena being so sad and alone. Lena most likely being in danger.

She couldn't afford to think about unimportant things like feverish kisses, especially since she didn't even know what it meant or if she wanted it to mean something to begin with.

Yes, she liked Mon-El, but not like that? Or did she? Probably not, because her first reaction after the inital confusion of him not remembering what had transpired between them had been relief.

And that wasn't a good sign, now was it? At least not for her potential something with Mon-El.

The sound of someone clearing their throat right next to her made her jump in her seat and Kara silently cursed herself for letting her thoughts stray once again.

When she caught sight of her chuckling sister Kara sighed, "Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I'm glad to see you too."

Alex' joking tone managed to get Kara out of her funk and she forced a smile on her face, "Sorry. What can I do for you, Alex?"

"I just came to ask you something. I'm on the way over to..." she wanted to say L-Corp, but the sadness in Kara's eyes made Alex decide against it, "Uh... Some alien was reported missing in the morning...I'm about to talk to the employer."

First she had to talk to Lena Luthor though, but Alex wasn't sure how well Kara would take the news since things between her and Lena were still far from fine.

Kara's eyes grew wide and she was about to get up, "Should I come along? Any idea what happened?"

"There's no need. So far we don't know anything. Maybe it's nothing", Alex tried to sound positive, but she was well aware that Kara didn't believe her for one second. With Cadmus still out there they had to be even more careful than usual, but so far they had no evidence that there had been a crime.

"Okay. But call if you need help", Kara countered before she remembered her sister's inital statement, "Wait...what did you want to ask?"

Alex grinned at the question, glad that Kara had paid attention to her, especially when her sister obviously couldn't be bothered to focus on her job, "Pizza and movies tonight?"

"Definitely. I'll get the movies", Kara smiled as well. She missed spending quality time with Alex, but life had gotten so incredibly busy with Cadmus and all the other disasters that constantly hit them.

Alex nodded in agreement, "I'll bring the food."

\-------------

Lena walked into her office, exhausted and annoyed after a meeting that had taken way too long and had accomplished nothing, followed by her assistant, who was carrying a stack of files, which she put onto the desk in one swift move.

"I just got word from the workers that they are almost done unsealing the door of the old science lab, Miss Luthor", the woman announced and Lena hummed appreciatively, "Thank you, Jess. Is there anything else?"

"Miss Danvers is here to see you."

"You could have let her in, Jess. I told you she can..." Lena started, but her assistant shook her head, "The other Danvers."

Lena seemed to be confused for a moment, but then she remembered their appointment, "Right. Send her in, please."

"Of course."

She took a deep breath as her assistant left the room. She wanted to go downstairs and check out Lex' old laboratory. She had it sealed when she had taken over the business without so much as taking a look around, but now that she was on a mission to figure out what Cadmus was up to she decided that it couldn't hurt to find out what exactly her brother had been doing down there in the catacombs of L-Corp.

"Miss Luthor", Alex Danvers announced in greeting as she entered the office and Lena stood from her chair, shaking the offered hand as Kara's sister stopped right in front of her desk, "Agent Danvers."

"Thank you for seeing me, I'm sure your schedule is quite busy, Miss Luthor. I really appreciate it." Alex stood tall, eyeing the woman her sister was so fond of like a hawk while Lena sat back down.

Lena folded her hands and put them on the desk, "Don't mention it, Agent Danvers. What can I do for you?"

"I have some questions about the rocket launch at the docks."

"Of course you do", Lena fought her hardest not to roll her eyes, "What do you want to know?"

Alex cleared her throat, "Your mother is refusing to cooporate, but I'm sure that isn't really surprising you."

"Your assumptions are correct. I'm not surprised in the slightest. My mother is not going to help you", Lena agreed, her voice steady.

"Will you?" Alex asked bluntly. She needed to know if Lena Luthor would be an ally or an enemy and, although she was aware that the Luthor heir could be lying to her very face, she had to ask, because something was telling her that Lena Luthor wasn't in the mood for playing games if her worn out expression was anything to go by.

"Will I what, Agent Danvers? Help you?" Lena shook her head, "I'm afraid I can't."

Alex' challenging eyes locked with intensely green ones then, "You can't or you won't?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have no knowledge about my mother's work. Or my brother's for the matter. Nor do I have any idea who is in charge of Cadmus now...or what they are up to", Lena commented dryly, "And I certainly don't want anything to do with it, that I can assure you...Agent Danvers."

Alex raised her hands in a defeated gesture, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. It's just...my sister thinks really highly of you, Miss Luthor. And I thought...since you stopped your mother's nefarious plan...if you hadn't switched out the isotope...I would have lost some of my friends. People I consider family. And I need help to protect them...because Cadmus won't stop."

"No, they won't."  
Lena's words sounded so final, as if that war couldn't be won anyway, "As I said...I have no knowledge about any kind of Cadmus activity or my mother's doings."

Yet. But she wouldn't tell the agent that. She had found a name, a single name, of someone who had worked for her mother and whom she suspected to be a member of Cadmus, but she wasn't sure. She needed evidence and she didn't want Alex Danvers sniffing around. It was her family, her problem and she would deal with it by herself.

As no good deed went unpunished and she had had enough of that to last her a lifetime.

"Alright then. Could you give me a call in case..." Alex handed Lena a card with her contact information and Lena nodded, "Of course."

"Thank you for your time, Miss Luthor", Alex was about to turn around and walk away, but Lena's voice stopped her, "Why are you here, Agent Danvers? Why would you even consider working with me? You clearly don't trust me, so I don't quite understand."

Alex Danvers smiled then, "You did me no wrong. You are the last Luthor and according to my sister you are the good one. She thinks you are the one to show the world what a Luthor is really capable of...because you are the only one not blinded by hatred, the only one not seeking revenge."

"I'm a lost cause instead", Lena replied, sounding utterly defeated, but Alex only shook her head, "A piece of work is what you are, Miss Luther. You only need to find someone who is willing to put in the effort, to walk the extra mile...for you."

Lena stared at Kara's sister in disbelief, as if the mere suggestion would be nothing short of ridiculous, "And where would someone like me find someone like that, Agent Danvers?"

"You sure you don't already have someone like that?"

Their eyes met once again, Lena's gaze doubting, but daring her to continue, so Alex did, "Think about it, Miss Luthor. Wouldn't you say Kara would would easily qualify? For what it's worth...I know how deeply sorry she is. And I mean truly sorry. I know, I know...you're hurt...and forgiveness has to be earned...but therefor you need to give her a chance...she might surprise you."

And then Alex turned around and left, aware that she couldn't say any more without crossing boundaries she wasn't supposed to. She would also betray Kara's trust if she kept talking and that wasn't an option either.


	5. You can trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Hello everyone,_
> 
> _just a fair warning in case there are a lot of typos or anything in this chapter. I'm suffering from a massive,_   
>  _and I mean MASSIVE, migraine at the moment and I literally had to push my limits to get up in the morning._ _Considering that it is almost 3.30 am now...well...it's been a long day._
> 
> _I tried my best...if it's really awful let me know, then I'll re-work it on the weekend._
> 
> _xo_

Alex had thought about her conversation with Lena Luthor all afternoon. The CEO had tried really hard to seem unaffected by everything that had happened, but she wasn't a special agent for nothing. She had seen through the mask of professionalism with relative ease.

Lena Luthor was hurting. A lot.

She couldn't even imagine what it had to feel like to be so alone and isolated and hated by her own family.  
She still didn't trust the woman and she had a feeling that Lena hid something, but Alex was well aware that she wasn't someone Lena trusted either, so it wasn't really a surprise that she hadn't told her a thing.

But recognising the same sadness in Lena Luthor's eyes as in Kara's had done something to her and it had given her the courage to speak on her sister's behalf although she wasn't sure if it had been a smart move now that she thought about it.  
She had to tell Kara that she had went to see Lena and she really had wanted to avoid that, but she couldn't hide this from her.  
Alex only hoped that Kara wouldn't get mad and that Lena would find it in her heart to forgive her sister, because it was the only way for them to get out of their misery.

She knocked on Kara's front door, cartons of pizza and a bag of potstickers in hand, trying to work out how to tell her sister when the door swung open.

“Alex, it's about damn time!” Kara basically ripped the bag from her hands, causing Alex to chuckle, “Hungry, are we?”

“Starving!”

\-------------

Once the two sisters were settled on the couch with their food, the movie playing in the background, Alex cleared her throat, “I talked to Eliza earlier today...Christmas stuff.”

“Oh!” Kara got all excited, “We still need to go gift shopping!”

“That we do”, Alex agreed and took a bite of pizza, “She said I could invite Maggie.”

Kara tilted her head to look at her sister for a moment, studying her tense posture, “You act like that's a bad thing.”

“No! Yes...no. I mean...”, Alex shrugged helplessly, “Don't get me wrong...it would be lovely to have her here...and I'm so glad that Eliza is so welcoming and everything, but...should I invite her? Isn't it like...too soon? What if she freaks out, feels pressured and thinks...I don't know...I don't want to scare Maggie off...you know?”

“Yeah, I guess I understand that...somehow”, Kara mumbled while eating a potsticker, “Does she have any family in town?”

Alex shook her head, “No, I don't think so.”

“Then you should invite her...come on...all our friends will be here and no one should be alone”, Kara's voice grew silent then, the last words barely a whisper, “For Christmas. No one should be alone in the first place.”

“Lena.”  
It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Alex watched Kara nod and drop her head. And she understood, because even though she wasn't Lena Luthor's biggest fan, she agreed with Kara. No one should be alone, especially not for Christmas.  
She took Kara's hand and squeezed it encouragingly, “Talk to Eliza...explain the situation to her...I'm sure she won't mind if you invite Lena over.”

“The others would be thrilled. You know that no one really likes her...or trusts her”, Kara said in defeat, but Alex wouldn't have any of it, “What does it matter? You do. She is your friend...and you trust her. Christmas is for family...and friends. If you want her there...talk to Eliza. 'Cause I'm not sure if she would take it well if you would spring this on her without a warning...but I'm pretty sure she'll be okay if you invite Lena.”

Kara looked at Alex, still unsure about the suggestion, “I can't ask Lena to come over and spend Christmas with us. Because...well, right now we aren't really friends and I'm not sure we'll be anytime soon.”

“She'll come around”, Alex reassured, “If she's as smart as you say she is...she'll come around.”

When Kara didn't say anything Alex continued, “Besides...if there is one person in this town who really needs you...it's Lena Luthor. She needs someone who understands her and who can light up her world...and soon enough probably even someone capable of protecting her. And who would be better qualified for that job than you?”

“You think Lillian will find a way to get to her, don't you?” Kara sat up straight, the movie long forgotten.

“Well, I think it's a real possibility that Lillian Luthor will seek revenge. We both know what a horrible person she is...you even more so than me”, Alex commented, her tone serious, “And with one alien and two metahumans missing...I hate to say it...but something isn't right.”

“What? What do you mean one alien and two metahumans are missing? I thought it was just one?” Kara was highly alerted at the news.

“I know. I only heard when I was about to leave the DEO. I wanted to help, but J'onn sent me home...he said we should try to rest a bit for a change. Maggie is out with a team, looking for them...and J'onn is out with a team as well. And Clark was on his way when I left. They've got this”, Alex tried to calm her agitated sister down.

“We need to be out there, looking for them...I'm Supergirl and...”

But Alex interrupted Kara before she could finish her sentence, “You're also Kara. And you need a break. We all know it. They'll call if they need us.”

“Okay.”

She had to distract Kara somehow and although Alex knew she would regret it, she confessed anyway, “I went to see Lena today.”

Kara's eyes went wide, “What? When? Why?”

“After I stopped by at CatCo...I just had some questions regarding Cadmus”, Alex continued and only recognized her mistake when Kara's expression darkened.  
“Hey! I didn't do anything...I just wanted to know if she could help us...or if she knows anything that could be of use...thought it might be better than spying on her again...” Alex defended herself, “And I wanted to see...with my own eyes...”

Kara eyed her warily, “I'm not sure I understand.”

“I had to know that she cared...that she cares about you, Kara. I needed to know that she's serious about being a friend, an ally...”, Alex stated softly, “And while I can't say that she's been helpful in any way...you do mean a lot to her...and that's why she is hurt. Well, it's part of the reason and I'm sure she has a lot on her plate right now...but she'll come around. She would be stupid not to.”

\-------------

It was way past midnight and Lena was aware that she should go home and get some sleep, but she couldn't get herself to leave Lex' old laboratory.  
She hadn't found much as her bother had the premises cleaned out in a hurry before he had been arrested, but she had found an old notebook with sketches and tons of information on Superman and kryptonite under some shelf that had fallen over. It was nothing groundbreaking, at least not as far as she could tell, but it was something.

She had also found a box with a piece of Kryptonite and she had been fascinated not only by its color, but also its power.  
She had witnessed Superman and Supergirl in action herself and it was truly astonishing that a small piece of it could bring them both to their knees.  
She was so tempted to touch it, to take it with her, but she knew that it wouldn't be wise. If anyone would see her with it all hell would break loose.

She would need to have a new safe installed down there to keep her findings protected and away from everyone until she had something that would be worth sharing, but she wasn't even sure whom she should share potential knowledge or evidence with.  
Kara? Supergirl? Agent Danvers? The police?

She had to be wise and careful about this whole mission of doing good or it would backfire, no doubt.  
Putting the notebook into her purse and the box with the Kryptonite back where she had found it in a small hole in the wall Lena got ready to call it a night at last. When she left the abandoned laboratory she shut the door and activated the new security system, well aware that she had to talk to the head of security the next day as well. She couldn't be careful enough.

\-------------

Supergirl landed at the DEO after an insanely busy day the next evening.  
Snapper had given her an even harder time than usual since she was absent from work so much and when she finally had been done for the day a massive crash with a school bus and countless cars had called for a rescue mission of Supergirl proportions.

While she loved that she was capable of helping and saving people Kara really looked forward to go home and have a bit of time to herself as she hadn't felt quite right the last couple of days.

She wasn't good at handling people being disappointed or mad at her, even worse at dealing with the fact that she had caused someone pain.  
Before Kara could have dwelled on it her phone vibrated and notified her of a new text message though.

She grabbed it and stared at her screen in disbelief when she realised that it was a message from Lena, who was asking if she could meet her at L-Corp.  
Kara knew she should wait, because her immediate arrival would be suspicious, but she couldn't stop herself from rushing off into the night.

Lena _wanted_ to see her.

\-------------

Lena was studying her brother's notebook when Kara stumbled into her office, causing the CEO to jump in surprise.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you”, Kara offered in apology, an awkward smile on her face.

Lena closed the notebook and put some file over it, “It's alright...I just didn't expect you here so soon...or not at all, really. Since you didn't answer my text.”

“I...uh...I was in...the neighbourhood...so I thought I'd...I'm sorry if...”, Kara rambled while her heart raced even faster than her mind.

Lena stood, “It's alright. I asked you to come over after all.”

“Right.”  
Another awkward smile appeared on Kara's face, “So, uh...why did you want to see me, Lena?”

“Well...” Lena walked over to the couch and sat down, looking at the space next to her and Kara immediately followed and took a seat as well, all the while watching Lena curiously, not sure what to expect.

“Listen, Kara...I understand why you did what you did...and I probably would have done the same if our roles would have been reversed”, Lena admitted, “It doesn't mean it didn't hurt that you tried to get information out of me like that. Because I do consider you a friend and I want you to know...I need you to understand that you can trust me...that's how friendship works...doesn't it?”

“Y-yeah. You are right”, Kara agreed, realising that she did have to tell Lena, because trust went both ways.

“You came and asked for my help when your _friend_ was in trouble and you needed that address for that fight club”, Lena commented, her gaze intense, “You could have talked to me about this...about Cadmus and my...my mother's involvement too. I might have handled it better that way...instead of Supergirl barging in and dumping it on me...I want to trust you, Kara...I chose to trust you...don't...don't make me regret it.”

Yep, she really had to tell Lena.  
And she had to tell her now.

“I'm...I'm sorry. Really. I am. I didn't handle the situation too well and I'm awful at being subtle...at least that's what Alex keeps telling me...and pretty much everyone else I know”, Kara stated, feeling even more awkward than usual.

Lena chuckled at the comment and also at the sight of a completely flustered and embarassad Kara Danvers, cheeks pink, eyes closed and she was about to say something, something funny even, when Kara suddenly collected herself, straightened her spine and her piercing blue eyes flew open, looking straight into Lena's very soul.  
There was determination written all over Kara's face, but Lena saw the fear in her eyes clear as day. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but Kara beat her to it.

“I need you to listen to me now, Lena...and I need you to _hear_ what I'm saying.”

“Okay.”  
Lena's voice was barely a whisper.

“There is something I need to tell you”, Kara started her explanation, never breaking eye contact with Lena, “I should have probably told you a lot sooner...but I...it's not because you are a Luthor, okay? I need you to know that your name is not the reason I didn't tell you.”

Lena nodded. It was all she could do in this moment, because she didn't trust her voice.

“Everyone who knows my secret becomes a target, is in a constant state of danger...for people to get to me...well, if they can't hurt me...they'll go after my friends. And I didn't want to put you into that position...but...with everything that is going on...I think it's safer if you know. So you can ask for my help straight away, without all the shenanigans...I need you to know that you can trust me. And that I trust you.”

That said Kara removed the hair band that held her blonde mane together in a ponytail and her glasses.  
Lena watched with a mix of disbelief and fascination as Kara unbuttoned her shirt with slightly trembling fingers, revealing her Supergirl chest emblem underneath.

“My birth name is Kara Zor-El and I'm Supergirl.”


	6. Friends despite everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Hello everyone!_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _I just wanted to wish you all HAPPY HOLIDAYS and for those who celebrate in the next couple of days...MERRY XMAS!_
> 
> _And do not fear...I will update again later today._
> 
> _Much love xo_

Lena shot up from the couch while she kept staring at the emblem on Kara's chest.

She was trying to process what Kara had just revealed while her mind was racing a mile a minute.

All kinds of memories washed over her, leaving her feeling dizzy.

_"You're safe now."_

_"I flew here...on...on a bus."_

_"If I'm calling you Lena..."_

_"Someone's trying to kill you."_

_"You like to take risks, don't you?"_

_"I believe everyone should be judged on their own merrits."_

_"Kara and I will both be at your party."_

_"Miss Luthor..."_

_"Don't do it, Lena."_

_"You're safe now."_

She was also flooded by visuals of Supergirl saving her, Kara blushing, Supergirl being confident, Kara being insecure, ying and yang, two sides of a coin.

It was not that she didn't have her suspicions before, but to hear it, to actually see it, was a different story. Before she had thought her mind was playing tricks on her, that she was just paranoid, but now she had to face the fact that everything had been a lie.

She remembered vividly how she had told Kara that one could learn to protect themselves when they had talked about her alien detection device and Kara had confessed that she had re-thought her position, but the truth was that Lena had never been safe.

Not as a child and even less so now.

Supergirl had saved her on countless occasions, but Lena was well aware that there might come a day when Supergirl wouldn't be around.

She had pushed the thought to the very back of her mind, but ever since Lex had tried to have her killed she was extremely wary again.

Kara was not the enemy, Supergirl wasn't the enemy either.

But how was she supposed to trust Kara now?

It wasn't that she was an alien, it was the fact that Kara had lied straight to her face from the beginning.

Supergirl had too.

While Lena had understood why she had done it, especially considering the Luthor history, it didn't change the fact that she had been lied to.

She was well aware how much trust Kara was putting into her now, she got that, but she felt so...

She wasn't really sure what she felt.

But the thought that she had asked to talk to Supergirl the other day because she hadn't been ready to face Kara, because she hadn't been ready to forgive her friend, made her sick.

Her trust had been violated in the worst way possible.

"Lena?"

It was only when she heard Kara's trembling voice that Lena realised that she had started to pace the room like a caged animal.

She met Kara's gaze quickly, but had to look away when she caught sight of the worried expression on her face.

First she thought Kara was worried that she had made a mistake by telling her the truth, but then Lena took a second glance and saw the situation for what it was.

Kara was worried about her.

Lex and Lillian despised aliens and yet here she was, talking to one, being friends with one.

And Kara didn't act like she was superior, she honestly cared about her.

Kara cared while her own family never had.

She had so many conflicting feelings in that moment and Lena wasn't sure how to deal with them.

She understood why Kara hadn't told her earlier, if she was honest she was surprised that Kara had told her now, but it only made things more complicated.

Did it bother her that Kara wasn't human?

No, it didn't.

"I'm sorry I lied", Kara tried again, "Really, I am. But...when I first met you...I didn't know if..."

"If you could trust me", Lena finally found her voice again.

Kara got up as well, but kept her distance while she looked at Lena with so much hope in her eyes and Lena felt absolutely crushed, because she couldn't really embrace the situation.

"Kara, I...I don't mind that you're...that you're an alien or Supergirl. And I promise you that your secret is safe with me", Lena assured.

"But?"

Kara knew there was a but, she could hear it in Lena's voice, and she tried to brace herself for what was about to come.

"But...I am a Luthor and you are a Super and...things are complicated. They've been complicated before, but this...I get why you didn't tell me before...and I appreciate that you trust me enough to tell me more than you know, but I need...I need time to process all of this. So much has happened..."

Kara nodded, "I understand that. A lot has happened. But you're wrong...you're Lena and I'm Kara. We can be friends. We are friends."

Lena stared at her, "Are we really?"

"Of course we are. Our situation is pretty...unique, but I consider you a friend, Lena. Luthor or not...I'm sorry I lied to you. I am. I thought about telling you more than once, but then your mother had me kidnapped...well, Supergirl...and she made it perfectly clear that she wants me to stay away from you. And then I couldn't tell you anymore...I was scared that, well...I didn't know how close of a relationship you had with your mother then...I didn't want to get you in trouble or danger before...even less so once I found out that your mother was in charge of Cadmus. And I was scared that you didn't want to be my friend anymore if you found out that I am who I am", Kara confessed and it finally dawned on Lena that the situation was even more complicated than she had initially thought.

This was about so much more than lies and family histories, this was about Kara caring about her.

She was important enough to Kara that the blonde had been scared of losing her.

And then she remembered how welcoming and kind Kara had been from the beginning.

Although Kara was a Super. Although she was a Luthor.  
It hadn't made a difference for Kara.

She had been open minded and willing to give her a chance.

"Okay."

It was all Lena could say, all she trusted herself to say without her voice breaking.

"Okay?"

Kara looked at her, hopeful and insecure all at once.

"You're right...we're more than our names. And we are friends. Or at least we'll be now that there are no more secrets. But I still need a bit of time to process", Lena stated carefully, praying that her reaction wouldn't hurt Kara.

"That's fine. You know where to find me if you need me. Or want to talk", Kara smiled and walked over to the door that led to the balcony, "Thanks for hearing me out, Lena. Good night."

Before Lena could have said a word Kara opened the door and disappeared into the night like the Supergirl she was.

\-------------

The next couple of days were extremely busy for both women as Lena had to deal with L-Corp business and her secret research on her brother and her mother, but she didn't get far as Kryptonite was such a complex topic and she didn't know the first thing about it.

She had to find someone who could shed some light onto the topic, but more than that she needed a contact who could tell her more about Cadmus.

She was walking down a dangerous path and she was aware of it, but she had to figure out what they were up to, now more than ever.

\-------

Snapper had made Kara's life miserable as usual, but what really had her on edge was that more aliens had went missing and they hadn't found out anything about their whereabouts.

She also had experienced another encounter with Cyborg Superman while she had been out, trying to find out what had happened to the aliens and metahumans, who had basically vanished from the earth.

Kara was desperate at this point. Desperate because she felt so helpless. There had been countless raids all over National City and they hadn't found a thing.

Cadmus had to be behind it, they all knew it, but with no evidence and no idea where to look all they could do was wait and hope that Cadmus would make a mistake eventually.

It was hard for Kara to accept that there was nothing else she could do and she felt rage bubble in her stomach more and more with each day that passed by. She was used to help, to save and to protect and not being able to do that was weighing her down.

She had went to see Lena the day before and had explained the situation to her, but Lena hadn't been of much help either, which hadn't been all that surprising since she hadn't been involved with Cadmus to begin with nor did she have any idea about her mother's nefarious plans and work.

And that was how Kara found herself patrolling the city once again as she flew circles over National City, trying to hear or see anything out of the ordinary.

\-------------

Lena left the L-Corp building, her phone in hand, ready to text Kara.

She had been glad that Kara had come to see her yesterday, because even though she had asked for time once again, she always welcomed the light Kara's presence brought to her darkness.

And she had appreciated that Kara had asked for her help this time, no hidden agenda, just the plain truth and it had made her see that they were on a good way.

She would tell Kara about her own research eventually, but she wanted to have something useful first.

With Christmas only a few days away she had decided to ask Kara if she wanted to grab a drink, because if Lena was honest she missed spending time with her geeky reporter friend. Their refreshing conversations always filled her with an unknown warmth, most likely because Kara didn't consider her a threat, didn't see her as a Luthor or a villain. All she saw was Lena, all she saw was a friend.

She had thought about it a lot the last couple of days and she had come to the conclusion that, despite everything, Kara had always had her back. And Supergirl as well.

But more than that Lena had had Kara's as well and she wasn't willing to give that up.

Kara Danvers was probably her only friend, not just in town, but also in life. And while their circumstances were truly unique, deep down Lena knew that she could count on Kara.

Her driver had called a couple of minutes ago to let her know that he was waiting for her in front of the building, but now that she was outside there was no one.

Neither her driver, nor her car.

What was going on?

Her message to Kara long forgotten Lena dialed her driver and she could hear a phone ringing somewhere in the shadows, but no one could be seen.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

She knew she should probably head back inside, that she should probably call Kara after all, because something wasn't right, but before she could have moved Lena felt someone's breath on her neck and a knife on her throat.

"Drop your phone, Miss Luthor."

The voice wasn't familiar, but the determination the words had been spoken with made Lena do as she was told.

The device fell to the floor and a heavy leather boot stepped on it, cracking it in the process.

"Your mother sends her regards. She said I should just kill you, but I think I'll have a little fun with you first."

Lena tried to get away, but the deathgrip she found herself in made it impossible and the blade that dug into her skin and made it break stopped her every motion only a second later.

She felt something warm run down her throat while her body turned cold.

God, she had been so naive.

How had she not seen this coming? Of course her mother wouldn't just let her get away with betraying her and putting her in jail.

As the tall, masked man started to drag her away it dawned on Lena that she had indeed never really been safe.


	7. You saved me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Hello everyone,_
> 
>  
> 
> _my heartfelt apologies for being gone for so long._  
>  _First I was sick, then one of my dogs got sick right in time for Christmas and afterwards my motivation_  
>  _decided to take a vacation without me. *rolls eyes*_
> 
>  
> 
> _I hope everyone had lovely holidays and a great beginning of 2017!_
> 
>  
> 
> _Thanks for all the kudos and the reviews, they always make me smile :)_  
>  _Much love to everyone!_

She had no idea where she was.  
That was the first thought Lena had when she opened her eyes.  
She tried to take a look around, but the light was blinding her and her throat was hurting.

That was when her memories came rushing back.  
Someone had grabbed her, had pressed a knife to her throat, her skin had broken.  
Her mother wanted her dead.  
But she was alive. She was also warm and comfortable.  
It didn't make sense.

“Good. You're awake.”

The voice was somehow familiar.  
When Alex Danvers appeared in her field of vision Lena frowned in confusion.

“Do you remember what happened?” the agent asked and Lena nodded before she rasped out her answer, “Someone tried to kidnap me. My mother hired him to...to kill me.”

A sympathetic smile appeared on Alex' face, “He's been arrested.”

“How did I get here?”  
Lena was glad that they had gotten the guy who was supposed to end her, but it only made her wonder more about what had happened after she had apparently passed out.

“Supergirl.”  
Alex said it as if it would be the most obvious thing and maybe it was, but Lena couldn't remember seeing her there.

“She was patrolling around the city and she wanted to check on you...that's when she saw what happened. She brought you here”, Alex added when she saw the growing confusion on Lena Luthor's face.

“Where am I?” Lena slowly registered that she wasn't in a real hospital although that had been her first conclusion, “Is Kara alright?”

Alex' expression grew serious, “Please, don't let anyone know that you know...that Kara is Supergirl. If J'onn finds out she told someone else he's going to flip. He's already livid that she brought you to the DEO.”

Lena nodded, “I won't say anything. Her secret is safe with me, I promise. But what's the DEO?”

“The Department of Extra – Normal Operations. It's where I work”, Alex admitted, “The cut on your throat is only superficial. According to Supergirl you must have hit your head when your attacker shoved you into his van, but scans didn't show any sign of brain injury. You should take it slow for a couple of days though as you've been unconscious for a while.”

“Thank you, Agent Danvers.”

“Don't thank me. I didn't do anything, but put a bandaid on your throat”, Alex joked and a small smile appeared on Lena's face, “Then thanks for that. Where's Ka...Supergirl?”

“Doing what she does best...saving people. She should be back soon. She's been worried about you.”

\-------------

The next time Lena woke up Kara was sitting in a chair next to her bed, still in her Supergirl uniform, illuminated by only a night light.

“You saved me.”

A smile appeared on Kara's face at the sound of the CEO's voice, “Lena!”

“What time is it?”

Kara shrugged, “It has to be around two in the morning.”

Lena's eyes went wide, “What? Why are you still here?”

“Because you are my friend and someone is trying to kill you. Again.”, Kara stated matter-of-factly. She waited for Lena's reaction, that would undoubtly come. And she didn't have to wait long.

“I told you before...you can't live in fear. Besides...we all knew it was a real possibility that my mother would send someone after me”, Lena tried to play it off, tried to stay strong although the thought of that man doing God knows what to her to have “fun” would undoubtly give her some nightmares.  
“Thank you...for saving me. Really. I do appreciate it, Kara. Don't think I'm not grateful, but there might come a day you won't be around.”

“I won't let anything happen to you”, Kara's determination showed in her voice, “I know you probably think the people in National City won't care if you...that they won't miss you. And they might not, but I do, Lena. I care.”  
She wanted to tell Lena that she had lost too many people in her life, that all the loss was overwhelming her and that she couldn't lose her too, but Kara was aware that it was neither the place, nor the time.

Lena turned her head away from Kara, afraid that she would start to cry and she felt vulnerable enough as it was, lying in a hospital bed, without make up and completely worn out .  
The concept of her mattering to someone was so foreign to Lena, she couldn't quite grasp it and it scared her if she was honest and yet she was so glad that someone did care about her for a change.

“I'm going to stay here with you tonight and we'll talk about the rest in the morning”, Kara announced and didn't leave any room for discussions, “Before you try to say 'no'...it's not negotiable.”

\-------------

Alex and Kara had driven her home in the morning although Lena had insisted that she was fine and that she could go to work, but neither one of the Danvers sisters had even bothered to hear her out.  
They had blatantly ignored her all the way to her loft and once they had arrived there they had explained their plan of action to her.  
Needless to say Lena hadn't liked it one bit, but she had found out quickly that while Kara could be easily swayed or distracted, Supergirl couldn't. She was way too confident and determined, and stubborn as well, and Lena had lost the argument before it had even started.

And so Supergirl had escorted her to and from work the next couple of days and some special agents had been added to the security staff of L-Corp.  
One of them had stayed with Lena at all times and she had gotten quite frustrated by the lack of privacy.

The highlight of her days had been her few moments with Supergirl, simply because the knowledge of Kara caring so much about her had made her feel that she was worth something for a change.  
But Kara, or better Supergirl, had been extremely busy protecting the city the closer Christmas had come and Lena had spent most of her time in solitude as usual.

And that was why she was sitting in her office on Christmas eve, doing what she always did during holidays – she kept herself busy with work while one of her new “bodyguards” sat on the couch motionlessly.  
She knew he had to be grumpy or even angry, because he had a wife and kids and he shouldn't be here and neither should she and while she didn't look forward to sitting in her loft all by herself she felt sorry for the man, who hadn't done anything to deserve this.  
It was the reason why she told him to bring her home in the end.  
She was one of the good ones after all.

\-------------

Kara was sitting at the dinner table, watching her friends chat and eat, smiles on their faces, but she couldn't bring herself to join in.  
She didn't even feel hungry and that was what got Alex attention in the end.  
Ever since Kara had come to live with them there hadn't been a single day where she had moved her food around on the plate like she did now.  
Something had to be wrong and Alex was pretty sure that she knew what it was.

She got up and dragged Kara with her into her sister's bedroom while Eliza stared after them in worry.

“What's going on?”

Kara tried to avoid Alex' eyes, “Nothing.”

“Just go and I'll tell them you are out on Supergirl business or something”, Alex offered, but Kara shook her head, “I can't just...it's Christmas eve.”

“Exactly. And we should be with the people we want to be with”, Alex countered, causing her sister's eyes to go wide.

“Don't think I don't want to be here! It's just...she's alone and she shouldn't be. But with everything going on I forgot to talk to Eliza...and now...I didn't invite her over either. I don't even know why I didn't...I should have”, Kara let herself drop to her bed with a sigh, “Look at the boys...they are having a great time and we all know it wouldn't be the same if Lena would be here because they're all so reserved whenever she's around. I don't want to ruin Christmas for anyone...after the year we had.”

“Kara”, Alex sat down next to her sister and hugged her close with one arm, “Lena is your friend and she's having a really hard time. You're right...she shouldn't be alone. Go...at least make sure she's alright. I'll talk to Eliza. I'll explain the situation to her. I'm sure it will be alright. Convince her to come over tomorrow and if she survives a Danvers Christmas I might consider trusting her.”

Kara had to laugh at Alex' comment and hugged her sister back, “Thank you, Alex. You're the best, really. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go and let me deal with the rest of the squad.”

\-------------

She was glad to see that Lena's office was dark when she flew by, but as soon as she landed on the balcony of the CEO's loft Kara's heart broke.

Lena was sitting on the couch of the living room, wrapped up in a blanket, a bottle of whiskey in one hand, an old photograph of her and Lex in the other.

Kara's initial plan of just dropping by vanished into thin air at the sight, because Lena really shouldn't be alone tonight.  
She knocked on the glass door, careful not to smash it and watched as Lena jumped at the sound.

It took a moment for the CEO to collect herself and get to her feet and Kara winced as she saw her stumble, but as soon as Lena opened the door and Supergirl entered the loft a smile spread on both of their faces.

“What are you doing here? On Christmas eve no less”, Lena wanted to know while Kara scanned the loft, “Lena, where is...”

“I sent him home.”

“Lena!”  
She might be dressed as Supergirl, but in that moment she didn't feel strong or confident or anything other than scared for her friend, “He was supposed to make sure that you're safe!”

Lena scoffed, “A single man can't keep me safe, especially not from my mother's people. We both know that. And he deserved to be with his family...it's Christmas eve after all. Which brings me back to my question...what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you”, Kara explained, “And...and to invite you...to spend the day with us tomorrow.”

Lena's eyes went comically wide, “W-what?”

“We're having a big Christmas breakfast at my place...the guys will be there...and Alex and Maggie, my mom, J'onn...”

“And you want me to come too?” Lena tried to wrap her head around Kara's question, but it made no sense to her. Why would Kara want her there?

“Yes.”  
There was no hesitation on Kara's part, no sign of doubt and it made Lena's heart flutter to know that she was wanted somewhere for once.

She nodded and watched a huge smile appear on Kara's face, “Awesome!”

Used to Supergirl's short visits Lena prepared herself for the inevitable, “Thanks for coming by. And for inviting me. I'll see you tomorrow morning then. When should I be there?”

“I'm not leaving.”  
The words were out of Kara's mouth before she could have thought better of it, “I mean...I can go if...if you want me to go. Then I'll fly circles round the block all night 'cause I'm not leaving you here by yourself.”

“Do you really think if my mother has sent someone else...that they would strike tonight?” Lena eyed Supergirl expectantly and Kara shifted her weight from foot to foot uncomfortably, “How do you usually spend the holidays?”

“By myself. In my office, working. Why?”

“Exactly my point”, Kara argued, “And your mother knows that, doesn't she? Hell, I half expected you to be at L-Corp...”

Lena dropped her gaze somewhat sheepishly, “I was. But then I felt so sorry for my _bodyguard_...so I made him bring me home and go to be with his family.”

“You should have called me!”

“Kara, you deserve to spend Christmas with your family, with your friends...there's so much going on in your life all the time with you being Supergirl...you should be with the people you want to be with, not babysit me.”

Hands on her hips Supergirl met Lena's gaze, determination written all over her face. In that moment she was every bit the girl of steel, strong and invincible, “And what makes you think I'm not exactly where I want to be? Because the way I see it, Lena...I didn't have to come over here tonight...and yet here I am. You didn't ask me to...I came because I wanted to. It was my choice.”

Lena didn't know what to say to that, so she simply sat down on the couch while her mind raced a mile a minute.  
Nothing and everything made sense to her at the same time and she wondered how long this newfound peace would last, because clearly it wouldn't be permanent.  
Her brother wanted her dead. Her mother wanted her dead. The people of National City hated her.

But in this moment she didn't care, because it was Christmas eve and for the first time in years she wasn't alone.  
And not only wasn't she alone, she was with a friend. With someone who truly cared about her, who protected her and who trusted her. 

When Kara sat down next to her and reached out to squeeze her hand encouraginly Lena couldn't help, but smile again.

“Take out and movies?” she asked and Kara nodded enthusiastically, “I already ate dinner, but I could do with some potstickers...in case someone delivers on Christmas eve.”

Lena chuckled, “They deliver to me.”

“Great!”

\-------------

She wasn't sure how it had happened or what she had done to deserve any of this, but when Lena found herself eating potstickers and watching _The Polar Express_ with Supergirl on Christmas eve about half an hour later she was sure it had to be her best one so far.

They had shared some good memories of their childhood while they had waited for their food to arrive and now that they followed a children filled train to the North pole the reality of the situation hit her with full force.

They shouldn't be friends, they should be enemies.  
And yet here they were like it had always been meant to be this way.

She was still dressed up in her work clothes, including her heels and yet she didn't feel like a Luthor at all.  
And if the gleeful expression on her face was anything to go by Supergirl was really “just” Kara in this moment although she was still wearing her cape.

Against all odds they had become allies and friends.  
Most importantly though they were so much more than a Luthor and a Super.  
Right then they "simply" were themselves.  
Lena and Kara.  
They could be that with each other.  
And that was all that really mattered.


	8. The Supergirl Squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Hello everyone,_
> 
> _Sorry for my long absence once again. Life has a tendency of getting in the way *rolls eyes*_   
>  _So no big speeches today as you've waited long enough ;)_
> 
>    
>  _Two things though:_  
>  _1) Thanks for your continued support and love. It means so much, you really have no idea._
> 
>    
>  _and 2) I want to dedicate this story to my very dear friend **Ana** , whom I met through another _  
> _fandom (OUAT) a couple of years ago when I wrote my first SQ fanfic. She's stuck with me ever since._
> 
>    
>  _And I'm beyond grateful for her friendship. She's one of the smartest, funniest and kindest people I know._  
>  _She's always supported and encouraged me and it means everything._
> 
> _So, **Ana** , this one is for you - because God knows you are one of my heroes._

Waking up to find Supergirl standing in the doorway of her bedroom, a mug of fresh coffee in hand wasn't something Lena Luthor had thought she'd ever see.  
Especially not at 5 am on Christmas morning.

“Kara?”  
She blinked repeatedly to clear her sleep fogged brain with little success.

“I'm sorry for waking you this early, but family breakfast starts at six”, Supergirl stated apologetically before she crossed the room and put the coffee on the nightstand next to Lena's bed, “I'll be in the living room while you get ready.”

“Wait!”  
Lena moved into a sitting position, “What should I wear?”  
She took the mug and clung to its warmth, realising she had never been in a situation like this before. No one had invited her to their birthday parties growing up and this was so much “worse”.  
This was Christmas and she would meet all of Kara's friends. And her mother.  
Lena had never met the parents either and she had to try really hard not to lose her composure. It wasn't even like that, Kara and her weren't dating or anything, but meeting Eliza Danvers was still a big deal as she was the mother of her only friend.

Unfortunately Kara's amused answer didn't help much either, “Just wear something comfortable.”

Something comfortable.  
Luthors didn't dress to be comfortable. They dressed to impress, to intimidate.  
The last time she had worn something comfortable...well, Lena couldn't even remember when that had been if she was honest.

The whole situation was so bizarre and surreal and Lena Luthor, for all the power she held, felt like an insecure teenager all of a sudden and it irritated her to no end.  
And then another thought came to her mind, one that filled her with even more horror.

“What about gifts? I had no idea I would be going anywhere...I have nothing to...”

“Lena...”

“What do you even give to people you don't know and who don't like you”, Lena let out a heavy sigh, but before she could continue her rant Supergirl was standing next to the bed, squeezing her arm, “Lena. We don't do gifts. We just spend time together as the big and crazy family we have become. Just get dressed...the one thing that is important is for us not to be late or all hell will break loose.”

“Right.”  
Lena took a big sip of coffee before she got up and it dawned on her that it was already the second time Kara saw her without make up. But this time her hair was probably a mess too.  
Great. Just great.

\-------------

She had been surprised when Kara had told her that a driver was awaiting her as soon as she had entered the living room, dressed and as ready as she would ever be for a family Christmas with people who didn't trust her and probably disliked her altogether. If she was honest Lena had expected to be flown over to the apartment by Supergirl, but she was rather grateful that Kara had been so considerate as she really hated flying with a passion and although she knew that Kara would keep her safe she had been glad that Kara had organised for an alternative way of transport. She wasn't sure if she could have stomached flying with Supergirl that early in the morning, especially considering how nervous she was.  
Lena would never admit it, not even over her dead body, that she was completely overwhelmed by the situation. Everything seemed to be so surreal, she couldn't wrap that all too rational brain of hers around it.

\-------------

Of course Kara was already home by the time she knocked on her apartment door and Lena had to suppress a chuckle when she caught sight of the outfit Supergirl had changed into.  
Kara answered the door wearing her pajamas.  
Flannel and covered in unicorns.  
Furthermore Kara was all goofy and smiles and a delicious smell of waffles and apples and cinnamon wafted from the kitchen.

To Lena's surprise everyone else was already there as well, and in good spirits too as it seemed although it was barely 6 am.  
What had her eyebrows shoot up was the fact that everyone was wearing pajamas.  
Except for her, of course. She was dressed up to the nines as usual.

Lena closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
She had always been an outsider and some things never changed apparently. Ironically enough she felt alien in this moment and thought about leaving when Kara grabbed her arm and dragged her over to the couch, telling her to sit down while the Danvers girls would finish breakfast.

She did as she was told and shot a sideways glance at the guys sitting there as well, all of them greeting her politely while she barely got a “Hello” over her lips.  
Gosh, she was so out of her element.  
She might be dressed like a Luthor, but in that moment she felt so incredibly small and insecure and Lena had no idea why nor what she should do about it.

Kara had invited her. Kara wanted her here.  
But the others not so much if the tension in the room was anything to go by.  
And so Lena just sat and stared at her burgundy dress that ended right above the knee, cursing herself for not owning anything more casual or comfortable as Kara had said.

Winn Schott was engaging in a whispered conversation with that tall, black guy she didn't know the name of and she didn't want to make things more awkward by asking.  
God, this had been a bad idea. It had been stupid of her to think that she would fit in somehow when really there was no chance of her ever fitting in anywhere.  
She was a Luthor and it condemned her to the solitude she had known all her life.

“Good morning, Miss Luthor.”

She hadn't even realised that someone had approached her and when she looked up she met the expecting gaze of...well...she hadn't seen this woman before, but if she were to guess it had to be Kara's foster mother.

“Misses Danvers?”

The woman gave her a small smile, “The one and only.”

Lena got up and offered her hand in greeting, “Please, call me Lena.”

She half expected for her to decline, but the seemingly kind woman took her hand and shook it, her gaze never wavering, “Doctor Eliza Danvers, but everyone here just calls me Eliza. I'm Alex' and Kara's mother.”

“Thank you for having me. I know it can't be easy for you to have a Luthor in the house”, Lena answered, understanding the silent threat of _'Don't mess with my girls or else'_ perfectly fine.

The rest of the living room was silent, all conversations had stopped and even Kara had frozen mid move, obviously debating whether to interfere or not.  
Alex only looked at her sister and shook her head 'no'.

“Well, I have to admit I didn't expect it, but you're Kara's friend and her friends are always welcome”, Eliza explained matter-of-factly while looking at Winn, James, Mon-El and J'onn.

Lena nodded, “I appreciate it.”

\-------------

Breakfast had went surprisingly well although the tension in the room hadn't really subsided and not everyone had been onehundred percent comfortable in the presence of Lena Luthor, but at least everyone had been polite and respectful, much to Kara's relief.

It was only when Winn stood all of a sudden as soon as the dishes were done that National City's hero paled visibly, the urge to jump up and leave overwhelming all of a sudden.  
She had completely forgotten about that. How could she have forgotten about the gifts? Especially since she had talked Winn into it in the first place.  
She didn't know what to do, but before she could have acted Winn had already started talking.  
Damn.

“Our very own Supergirl...”

Everyone cringed at the mention of Kara's alter ego and glared at Winn while nodding into Lena's direction and he instantly froze while J'onn glared at Kara in disbelief.

“Lena knows”, Kara confirmed while a blush crept up her neck, “I told her. It was my choice.”

“We'll talk about this later”, J'onn grumbled, causing Kara to drop her gaze to the floor for a moment.  
God, she was so sick of everyone treating her like a child sometimes. It was her secret, or not so secret, identity. Shouldn't it be her choice whom she revealed it to?  
Mind made up she directed her gaze at J'onn, “Later. But Lena is not a threat and I don't want you to treat her like one. She is my friend.”

For Christmas' sake the Martian didn't say anything else because the current peace was a fragile and quite unstable concept to begin with and he didn't want to take any of the girl's family time away over something that couldn't be changed anymore. They deserved a moment of undisturbed harmony and bliss.

Lena shifted uncomfortably in her seat, well aware that Kara might be in trouble because of her and their friendship. She should leave. She shouldn't have come to begin with.

But before she could get up Winn continued his explanation, “As I was saying...Supergirl...well, Kara...she asked for my help with...something. As you all know I sewed her suit and she asked me to do something for you guys...and I did.”

He unbuttoned his shirt and showed it off proudly. It was a simple looking black turtleneck pullower with a red patch that covered the left side of his chest. The Supergirl crest was stitched onto it with black yarn, right about where the heart was.

“The material is a new invention of the army...Lucy got it for me, but she wouldn't reveal any details as it's top secret", he chuckled, "It shields you from fire and minimizes stab wounds as well as bullets. It's not bullet proof by any means, but it slows them down quite a bit, so the wounds would most likely only be superficial if you were to get hit. The red patch is a part of Kara's baby blanket. Her cape would have been too long, so we had to cut it and we saved the rest, sure we could make us of it eventually and now we did. You all know her cape is bullet proof so this means that your hearts will be safe and protected at all times as long as you wear this...we all know a shot to the heart would most likely be fatal otherwise.”  
Kara stood up, “You are my friends...my family. And I...you find yourself in danger so often...because of me. And I can't always be there...especially not at two or three different places at the same time, no matter how much I wish...so I thought...it's the best we could come up with for now...”

Winn went over to the door and grabbed the bag that had been waiting there and he handed the first sweater to Alex with a wink, “Welcome to the Supergirl Squad.”

She took it off his hand with a laugh at the comment and got up to hug her sister, “This is...thank you. It means a lot...that you're always trying to look out for me. For all of us...I promise I'll always have your back.”

Kara nodded and smiled, “I know.”

Winn gave sweaters to James, J'onn, Mon-El, Maggie and Eliza, who seemed to be equally touched by Kara's gesture.

Lena was just sitting there, awed by Kara's thoughtfulness, but at the same time she knew that she would never be a part of that.  
The Supergirl Squad.

They were Kara's friends. They trusted her and Kara trusted them.  
But they also trusted each other.  
Her shoulders sagged and she sunk further into the couch, trying to ignore the pain that was spreading in her chest.

Kara was watching her out of the corner of her eye while mentally beating herself up over the fact that she had completely forgotten about the sweaters. She was so proud of Winn, because he had done such an awesome job, but she really should have remembered.  
They could have given those to everyone another time or he could have even...

And then he pulled another sweater out of the bag and handed it to Alex, who looked at J'onn, sharing a silent conversation with the Martian for a moment before the man nodded while Kara watched back and forth between them in confusion.

Alex walked past her, squeezing Kara's hand as she did so, and stopped right in front of Lena, “Come see us at the DEO after the holidays, Miss Luthor. There are a few things J'onn and I would like to discuss with you.”

Lena stared at Alex and the sweater in the agent's hand, not sure what this meant, “I will. And it's Lena.”

Appreciating the answer Alex smiled at her, “Well, then...Lena. Welcome to the Squad.”

Kara pulled Winn into a bone crushing hug, showing her gratitude as Lena took the offered sweater with tears glistening in her eyes.

“Winn Schott...you are the best! Thank you...but how did you...?” she whispered into his ear, still not sure what had happened.

He pulled back far enough to smile at her, “Alex mentioned yesterday that you were bringing her...and I thought after everything she did...she deserved to be...well, part of this. God knows she needs protection more than all of us with that crazy family of hers...so I made another one last night. And besides that it's Christmas...I might not trust her all that much, but I trust you, Kara. You are my friend and she is yours...so...for what it's worth...I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.”

A blinding smile spread on Kara's face then, “I couldn't have asked for a better friend than you, Winn. Thank you. You are amazing...please, don't change. Ever.”

\-------------

Kara had talked everyone into watching Christmas movies after that and she had sat beside Lena all through _Miracle on 34th Street, Jack Frost, The Grinch and Bad Santa_ , ensuring that Lena wouldn't feel left out and alone.  
It hadn't been all that comfortable with Alex and Maggie and the two of them squeezed on the little couch together, but Kara hadn't cared. Not at all.

Lena had sacrificed so much.  
Lena had saved them all.  
Lena was a hero.  
Lena was one of them.  
Lena was her friend.

The peace wouldn't last.  
It was only the silence before the storm.  
But neither of her friends would have to face it alone, because they were a team.  
And they were stronger together.


End file.
